christiancowboy's Blog

First I might be 56 but "I still feel 25 most of the time". Stole that line form George Strait.  Yeah I put in long days and most can't imagine starting their day at 4am and ending it at 9pm. I've cleaned out 18 horse stalls before you have had your morning latte. I will have all the horses, dogs, cats and assorted critters eating breakfast before you get in the shower.
Now I ain't complaining I would not swap places with ya, don't mean that in a negative way at all don't even know what ya do. Here is the way I look at it, if you have to get ready for "work", go to "work" etc., then I don't wanna trade places. See, me I get to go play cowboy everyday, I get to tend to the critters. What I do isn't even close to work for me.  Nothing like sharing your morning with a barn full of  horses, I feel sorry for all those city folk taking pills and potions to lower their blood pressure, aspirins for headaches.

Me I want stress relief I go to the barn, can't be anything but calm and relaxed when your staring into the big brown eyes of your favorite horse.  You can go to work if you want, me I 'm gonna go tend to the critters

Answered a question on EP about what kind of funeral I would like to have and well I just felt I needed to write this.

Now  I have always lived my life with a grin and a smirk.  I am always trying to find a way to make others laugh or smile along with me, it is just my nature. The other day for example I am at the bank cashing a check, teller asks for my license which Is sorta fused into my wallet so I hand her the whole thing, she is having trouble reading the number and hands it back to me and asks me what the license number is, I read it to her. She is kinda annoyed it seems but I don't say nothing. Then she asks me and I quote "When will you expire?" Ahh that is just too good for me to pass up. Tell her I am not rightly sure if I can answer that, see it's all up to the big guy I just hope he lets me stick around long enough to spend some of this money. She looked up at me smiling and said what I meant was your license, when does your license expire? I give her the date and as she puts it into the computer thanks me for making her day a  little brighter.
Now that is just one silly little comment but it made her day better, seems like we should all try and do that whenever we can, now I do things like that all the time, love to tell a good joke and I love the sound of laugter.
Even when life has beat me up and it seems the darkest I find things to smile about. Anyway getting back to the question, it pretty much asked if I could plan my own funeral would it be a fun funeral or somber and sad.

Take a wild guess what I said? Of course I would want a fun funeral I wouldn't  even show up if it wasn't. I want a giant party, good food, lot's to drink  and a great band. I want laugther not tears to mark my passing. Guess I gotta wierd way of looking at things, I don't want anyone to feel bad or shed a tear when I am finished dying. Yup I said when I am finished dying, see I am dying today just like I did yesterday and I will do tomorrow now it wouldn't be any fun if you cried everyday I was still workin on it now would it.
I am on an amazing journey, we all are but this is just a little tiny bit of it, it ain't the whole enchilada. We all started as energy, we all exist as energy and we will all remain as energy, Yup just in a different form a form no more or less substantial then we are now. All death really means is our purpose, our assignment, what we were sent here to do is finished and well, we get the chance to move on. Now the way I see it, ain't no different than if I was moving far away, might not be able to see me for a bit but we will see each other again of this I am sure.

So if you are around when I die and plan on attending the funeral be prepared for an evening of laughter and joy, I want all who attend to celebrate my leaving here to begin a new adventure, give me a sendoff with no more sadness than if I were leaving on a vacation. Share stories about the crazy things I did and the jokes I told. Now don't go spending a bunch of money  or time on doing anything with the empty shell I leave behind, it was never me, just a means of transportation while I was here.  Bury it, burn it, give it away, prop it up on a park bench. Hell wait till big trash day and put me in a can and set me on the curb.

Don't know who said that but I love it. Truth is there really are only two ways you can live life, one is a fear based life which is dark and scary and the other is a "love" based life full of light and peace.
Far too many people walk right up to the door and even put their hand on the knob but never turn it, never open the door and walk through it. That really is a shame, they are missing way too much.  Now if you happen to be one of those people, please don't think I am being mean or nothing. I fully understand how paralyzing fear can be, been there done that. I was pretty sick when I was young, I was born with some heart poblems and well my parents were a bit over protective, (God Bless them for caring) only problem with that is it sorta taught me not to take risks. I missed out on some things cause of it.
Now as I got older it kinda dawned on me that well I could either sit safely in the stands and watch my life go by or I could LIVE IT to the fullest. Sure were there going to be risks, setbacks, dissapointments you bet but I was going to be right in the thick of things.
Now I have done things absolutely cold stone sober most wouldn't dream of doing when they were drunk, I have gotten banged up, got a bunch of scars, broke a bone or two and had my heart trampled on more than a couple times, had financial successes and been dead broke, but I also had a lot of fun along the way.  And ain't that what life is supposed to be "FUN"?
Now if I were to tell ya everything I've ever done you probably would think I was either lying or a damn fool but the truth is I ain't neither one. I ain't saying I am fearless, my Momma didn't raise an idiot but when I  feel that fear building I take a couple deep breaths and  focus on what I am most afraid of and that is laying on my death bed wishing I had.

I have taken physical risks, financial risks and emotional risks and it ain't always been pretty but it has "ALWAYS BEEN".  That to me is the most important thing, ain't about winning, it is about stepping up and trying, it is about the experience, the thrill of knowing you turned that knob and stepped through the door that no one else dared go through.
Failure is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to you, nothing is the worst thing that can happen to you.  Now I ain't suggesting you take foolish risks but dang take some risks or you will always be wondering if ya could've or should've. Like the song says "Live like you were dying" truth is we all are.

Look I see it this way, physical pain don't last, money comes and goes and well broken hearts will always mend. Fear just makes things look scarier than what they really are and holds ya back from having some great experiences. Ain't ever too late to start ya know climb down outa  the stands theres a trash can on your left toss your fear in there and go have some fun.

Morning, been a spell since I have actually had the time sit and chat, talikin' to ya while I'm on the run just ain't quite the same. Well things are finally coming all together might have some down time soon. Sure is different around here.
Anyway I been thinking about a bunch of stuff and well I'm kinda stuck on this so I would appreciate ya givin' me a hand figuring it out

See I come to realize that most folks, well really are sorta confused about praying and the results they get.
Now most are quick to say you ain't listening to them cause they didn't get what they asked for. Some will go so far as to say  that's proof you don't even exist. Gotta wonder what they're thinkin'.

Now me I know you always listen, I also know you're always lookin' out for me and well guess I have asked for my share of things that would have ultimately caused me harm had you given them to me. Sure I been dissapointed but I've learned just cause I want somethin' doesn't mean I should have it. Now there are some who want to blame themselves, figure they ain't been good enough not worthy, not pure I mean the list goes on and on. Why is it so hard for them to see that it ain't about that at all. Truth is I guess they just don't understand that you really have a plan for us and well sometimes what we want would lead us away from those plans.  Don't understand why that's so hard to figure out. Besides we ain't the brighest crayons in the box and we are always wanting something, anything and more of it. We have endless wants. We think things are going to do it for us well I know that ain't so

I gotta get going, thanks for listening and uh if ya wanna change your mind about me hitting the big lottery well I reckon that would be okay with me. Just pullin your leg a bit, Amen

I am really trying to keep everything in perspective, I don't want to sound like a whiner or nuthin' but c'mon.  Now I thought I did a pretty good job of handling that little black snake you sent, thought he was sorta on the cute side and I did him no harm but  DIAMONDBACKS!! Now I'm real sorry but I can't warm up to them and I ain't a bit sorry about the three I already done in.
Now I don't mind them being around long as I never have to see em and they don't bite me or none of my critters but I sure ain't ever gonna warm up to them, just sayin' is all. I mean if I see a Diamondback anywhere close to me I am afraid they are going to meet up with the Snake-O-Matic.

Well I gotta go cut the grass in the south pasture, let me see, tractor with mower attachment, check. Straw Stetson, check. Snakeproof boots, check. Snakeproof chaps, check. Snake hook, check...............uh nope. Shotgun, yup you betcha, Sure wish OFF made a snake repellant I could spray myself with.
Talk to ya later

Sure is a pretty morning, now you know I just wanna thank You for all I got, Ya sure have been good to me. I reckon I got everything a fella could ask for, now I know some would say I ain't got much but well I disagree. No I ain't got big fancy cars and well the house is nice but it sure ain't a mansion and there ain't a lot of money in the bank account but you know none of that really matters none anyhow.
I got my health and well right now I'm feeling pretty good, thinkin' I got a bunch of good years ahead of me. Got a roof over my head and some dirt under my feet. Got a special lady that loves me, good dogs a few cats and Ya know God when I count my blessings I always count the horses twice so I just wanna say thanks again for everything
Now I also wanted to thank you for , well you know I mean sending your only son to die for me, for us, wow what kind of love is that. I mean I am  just an ordinary guy simple as dirt how could you love me that much? Guess we can talk about it when Ya call me home.
Now I was thinkin' as long as we're talking could I ask Ya a special favor?
Got some friends here on Ep that well seem like they could use some extra attention, world has been pretty tough on em and they have been beat up a little. Some are fighting depression,  some are fighting relationship issues, and some family problems, there are all sorts of battles going on. So I was hoping for Easter I could ask ya to maybe give em all a big hug, let them feel your arms around em.
Sometimes when we are facing all those worldly problems we forget you are right there with us and we can't feel your pressence. I know cause I been there and well only thing that ever gave me any comfort was when I would force myself to stop and take some time to chat with Ya like we're doing now, so If Ya could give em all a nudge.
Well that fence in the front pasture ain't gonna fix itself, guess I need to get going unless, I mean ya could if ya wanted to, fence can't be nothin the Creator of the world couldn't take care of.  Huh? I was just havin some fun guess I'll get going before uh, before I get struck by lightening or something. Happy Easter

Sittin' here watchin' the sun come up. Barn is all clean and the horses are busy eatin' breakfast. Got a fresh cup of coffee here and I was watching the steam rise off it and, well it set me to thinkin'.
Looks like ya went and blessed me with another day and I sure am grateful. 1 day,  24 more hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds now that ain't nothing to just shrug off or take for granted.
Most folks don't really give it much thought do they?  It really is up to me to decide what I'm gonna do with it, how I'm gonna spend it. Now once those seconds are gone that's it can't get em back so I really do need to use them wisely, ain't any guarantee I'm gonna get a bunch more, so here is what I'm thinkin'.
Gonna spend the next 900 or so seconds finishing this coffee and chattin with You then I'm gonna go give the little lady a hug and tell her I love her, maybe even cook her breakfast, might spend 2400 seconds on that, wow still got thousands of seconds left not sure how to budget them but I know one thing for sure I ain't gonna waste em.
Nope, ain't gonna spend one of those seconds angry, dissapointed or hurt. Ain't gonna spend anytime  on anything negative or mean spirited.

I choose to spend this gift honoring you so I shall spend my bounty wisely. I know there will be a time, in this space and time that I will exhaust my earthly account and have no more seconds to spend  and since I do not know when that will be I will spend each prescious second as if it were the very last one.

Still working on my mornig routine at the new place, things have finally settled down enough I can relax in the "God Chair" and enjoy a cup of coffee. Now things are a bit different around here and there aren't as many trees close to the barn as there was at the other place. Now that is neither good nor bad but I have noticed that I haven't seen any critters yet. Not a fox or a racoon, no deer nothing. Hoping all the recent activity just drove them off temporarily and it isn't because of the tree line.

Now just this morning I was asking God to send some critters by to share the morning with me. Five minutes passed, ten minutes, nothing not a peep. Now I know there are foxes, deer, etc around I have seen their tracks why can't  ya sorta get them to come by. Well I'm just a sittin' there, coffee is almost gone so I am thinkin' about heading in when I get this overwheming feeling to look down. Now at 4am it is till pretty dark but the barn lights do a pretty good job of lighting up the "Cowboy Patio." Not four feet from me is what at first I think is a stick, now it ain't that big maybe a half inch across and under a foot long but I am wondering how I missed it when I walked over it. I was just about to get up and pick it up when it moves. 


Now I had a bad experience as a child with a water moccasin so I ain't ever been real fond of snakes, In fact as always my first impulse was to get up and get something to kill it with. I didn't and I don't really know why.  So I am sitting there thinking this is not a good omen. 

Looking up I said "This really ain't funny." Now I don't know why but as I sat there staring at the anaconda wanna be a calmness came over me. Usually me a snake and calm would never be in the same sentence. Now I am drawn to look at him (funny I never think of a snake in female terms) anyway he certainly isn't scary, too small to be a real threat at the distance seperating us even if he was poisonous which he isn't. Quick lesson here, a poisonous snake actually has a neck, seriously right behind the head the body narrows down to form a neck while a non-poisonous snake is the same diameter front to back.
Anyway as I am looking at him he moves a bit closer and that is when I got the urge to touch him which is something I have never done. I do not even own a pair of snakeskin boots, first cause I think they are ugly but second because I would not be able to touch them, which really makes it hard to put them on. Little guy is kinda sorta cute, so I summon up all my courage and leaning forward touch his back. Heck he ain't the least bit slimy at all, now don't get me wrong I ain't ready to hug this little critter or nuthin' but I don't see no sense in killin' him either. I picked him up and carried him away from the barn and laid him in the tall grass.

Went back and sat down to give it all some thought, asked God what it was all about. Not sure but I think I am getting two different lessons letting go of fear and acceptance not really certain and I will be talkin to Him more about this so I keep ya all posted

Well Easter is just around the corner and this year it is pretty close to my birthday so the Wife has been asking me what I want. Told her a hundred times not to worry about a gift cause, well I got everything I could ever want or need. Anyway all this talk about  gifts set me to thinkin'.

In a few days I will have been here 57 years  and while that seems like a long time it sure ain't much more than a quick blink of an eye. Well I was having my morning coffee and began going over all the gifts I have ever gotten, now some were good, some were better, some were small and some were big. All of them were given with love. Was trying to decide if I had a favorite, what gift stood above the rest?
56 birthdays, 56 Christmas's, 56 Easters, 56 Father's Days all those gift giving occassions, sure was a long list of gifts to go through. It weren't gonna be easy. Now as I sat there in deep thought it came to me.

The Greatest gift I have ever received didn't come in a box, wasn't wrapped in brightly colored paper or tied up with ribbons. In fact it isn't even visible, has no form at all, can't see it, smell it or touch it.  I didn't get it last year for Christmas, ten years ago for my Birthday, 20 years ago for Father's Day. Fact is I didn't get it in the near 57 years I been here. Nope got it long before that. I got that gift in a time of great turmoil and it came at a cost that, well to me is still unthinkable.

The gift was paid for with the blood, the pain, agony and death of a man known as Jesus. A horrible and brutal death nailed to a cross placed on a hillside in the desert. A public display of  punishment, torture and cruelty. It was as this unfolded I was given the greatest gift I will ever receive. While suffering in pain, His life's blood draining from His body Jesus took from me, my sins and in exchange gave me Forgiveness and Redemption. Now I ain't anything but ordinary, no different than you or anyone else but I know He gave me that gift out of his love for me, imagine that. Now, you have the same gift, ain't like he gave it just to me, He loves us all the same. Think about that for a minute. Don't know about you but it sure makes me feel pretty special.

Happy Easter and God Bless

Almost done unpacking and getting settled in. Got a few extra minutes this morning so I thought I would use them to find the perfect spot for the "God Chair"
If you don't know about the "God Chair" let me explain. It is a marvelous and amazing piece of furniture had it for a number of years. Spent may hours sitting in that old chair, now it ain't because it is a comfortable chair, ain't because it is something really fancy or really valuable in fact you can have one if you want. Got it at Walmart, think it was a whopping five bucks, see it is just one of those silly white plastic chairs they sell in the garden department. Cold to sit on in the winter, hot in the summer and what ever you do don't try to lean back in it you will wind up on the ground.  Had mine so long it ain't exactly white anymore, in fact the Wife kinda suggested I should toss it out and buy a new one, well that ain't gonna happen.

See it is more than just a cheap plastic chair. It is my place of refuge, my place of peace, it is where I talk to God. Now most folks go to Church and I understand that, but it is in that chair at the barn that I feel closet to Him, it is my place of worship, my altar, my Church.  I think the secret is, it is where I can be still enough, quiet enough to hear Him. Can't really have any kinda conversation when you're running here and there. It's true ya know ! I hear people all the time saying they ask and ask but God never answers and when I ask them if they ever stopped and held still long enough to hear his reply I always get the same bewildered look. Sure the Big guy can hit a moving target but it is a matter of respect a matter of trust. Can't keep running your own game and expect Him to change the rules for ya. Stop running, ask and then listen.

Now I been trying to find the right spot for the chair for 30 minutes, got marks in the sand in so many places now you would think a dozen chimps on pogo sticks had been playing in front of the barn. I had just moved the chair and sat down again when I heard a chuckling behind me. When I turned I saw my Wife standing behind me with  grin on her face shaking her head. "Having a hard time deciding where it should go?" I said yeah, just not sure where to put it. She was laughing now, " I have been watching you and I can't believe it, you of all people." Being quick witted I replied, "What."  " You're acting like if you don't get that chair in just the  right spot you won't be able to hear Him anymore, you know better than that. Put the chair where you will be comfortable, where you can see the property, where it is out of your way when you're working down here. He doesn't care where it is, he talks to you not the chair." I was at a loss for words, (rare for me) but she was absolutely right. All I could do was look at her and nod. Here I am worried the creator of the entire universe and everything in it won't find me if I don't sit in just the right spot.
Motionng toward the house she said "C'mon I made a freesh pot of coffee." Sounds good I said as I set the chair down, I had barely taken a couple steps when I stopped, truned around and walked back to the chair. I moved that chair over about 4 inches and turned it more toward the pasture, I swear I heard someone laughing but this time the sound didn't come from behind me. The laughing, well it was coming from above me this time.
Not sure how often God laughs, but proud to know I amuse him
Gotta go, she's giving me that look, like are ya coming or not.

Been running so fast I swear if I stopped now it would take my shadow two days to catch up. Everything is moved now, and that's been a chore, flat worn out. Now this might sound silly to some but I just had to come back and spend a bit of time saying good bye to the old place. Wanted me and God to take one more walk around the place. I don't care much what others think. Always been the type to be open and honest and well if someone else likes or dislikes me for it so be it.

So I guess we  should start here at the house, always did like standing on the top deck and looking out over the whole place. Over the past ten years I reckon I have replaced every board on this deck, lotta work, lotta cussing while I did it. Tell me, why did you  drop about a foot and a half of snow over the whole place?  Looks strange, almost sad. None of the driveways or paths are cleared like they normally would be I can't see any of the work I did, all the digging, all the levelling, all the planting. With all this snow I don't reckon many of the critters will be around, sure was hoping to say good bye to them. From here I can see the barns and well it sure is strange to see all the stall doors open, You and me sure have had a lot of good talks down there haven't we. Before I forget, thanks for coming with me, don't think I could do this alone. Nah, I ain't crying my eyes are just tearing because of the cold.
Come on lets take a spin around the place, somewhere under all that snow is the patio where I spent a lot of time drinking coffee with the dogs, gonna have to fix a spot at the new place to do that Dogs sure been getting a little neglected in all this. So, ya wanna tell me what all this is about? Yeah didn't think ya would, I know the lesson is in figuring it out for myself, just thought I would take a shot.
Can't help but feeling like I should be clearing all the paths and such. That would be pretty silly just you and me and I reckon you ain't gonna slip. Now me, that's another story, course you know all about that, I have slipped more than a few times haven't I? Sure glad you ain't ever given up on me.
Hate seeing the barn all empty just don't seem right so much happened down here, so much love was shared, so many lessons learned, Funny but I can almost hear all the horses, ya wouldn't know anything about that would Ya? You know I just realized when we are together like this I tend to do most of the talkin'.  Wish I still had the God Chair here I would sit a spell, ain't even got a bale of hay to sit on, it's all up at the new place.
Hope whoever gets the place appreciates it for what it is, hope they take good care of it and enjoy it.
Wonder if they will notice that cross I carved in the wood over there?  Wonder what they will think if they do spot it.
Ten years you and I sat here together, I know we will spend time together at the new barn but well that place is so new and shiney it ain't got any character yet, of course I did bring over my old chair at least that will be familiar.
Wish the snow wasn't so deep could walk along all the paths and trails. I know ya can't move forward if you're always lookin' back over your shoulder. Wait a minute, The Snow, I know why ya did it, it was to help me make sure this was not a long goodbye. Guess you know best
New place sure is great, I mean I really feel blessed to have it, wanna Thank Ya for that. I'm sure there will be a lot of new memories made, lotta love and I know you will still be coming around.
Well I should get going, can't feel my toes anymore. Speaking of that I gotta know, You wearing sandals? Thought so, guessing you don't feel the cold. I know I got plenty to do  and I need to get going. Talk to you later

Well all the papers are signed, the money has been paid guess it is time to start the move. Don't rightly know where to start. I know I am blessed, out of what seemed like the darkest time I've seen in a long time I emerged with more than I could have imagined. The new ranch is only a little smaller but it is flatter more useable land so I am actually gaining space, gonna have a brand new barn and my Old Spirit Dog isn't gonna have to climb up and down the stairs anymore and well that is getting tough on him. So it is all good and there is a touch of excitement to it all and I am grateful. I know the new place is a blessing for sure but there is still a sadness to it all.
There has been so much life lived here, so many experiences both good and bad, I've made friends with all the local critters and I am sure going to miss the pines. Funny I have cursed them for dropping needles everywhere, needles I have to rake up but I already miss them. New place has trees but mostly oaks not a lot of pines. Got a pond on the new place, that's pretty neat.
Sorta figured I would die here, didn't really plan on moving but what is it they say "Want to hear God laugh tell him your plans"
Gonna be a bunch of work so I guess I just need to get going
I know the Big Guy has plans for me, may  not understand them right now but I trust him so I know it all be good. Gotta run

Ain't being mean spirited just thought the title might get some attention.  Last night my big old gelding dash reminded me once again how smart he really is. Now, Dash and I used to do some reining  and he loved to do sliding stops and even though we haven't competed in years he still does them just for fun. He will do them without a rider on his back but he  is just keeping in practice so he can perform one of his favorite pranks. That's right I said his favorite prank. Now most don't think horses are too bright and I know if I could have them spend a few days with Dash he would change their mind.
So last night I go down to do the night time chores and Dash is out in the arena where I had  put him earlier to burn off some steam. It has been non-stop rain for the last few days and he has been cooped up so he was pretty feisty. When I get down there he is clear on the otherside of the arena I leaned against the gate and called him.  He stuck his tail straight in the air raised his head and let out a big old snort, all I could think was oh Lord he wants to play. I opened the gate and walked in not giving any thought to the rain or the puddles in the arena. Dash dropped his head and with his ears up came running straight at me about 20 feet away he dropped his hind quarters and began a prize winning slide stop. right through the big puddle I hadn't noticed. So there I am right in front of him and here comes the wave of muddy water, too late to get out of the way I just sorta turned a bit.  I was completely drenched and when I turned back aroung there was old Dash standing inches from me with this perfectly innocent look on his face then he spun and took off. The chase was on, we chased each other back and forth for the next 30 minutes.
Now if you think the puddle was an accident or by chance I gotta tell ya whenever he gets the chance if there is a big enough puddle and some sucker standing close enough he will do a slide stop right through it like a kid stomping in a puddle to get his friend wet.
He is the biggest character I have ever met, he steals my hat and we play keep away, he will nudge me and knock me over when I'm not looking. We play all the time.
A few years back was when I realized how smart he really was. Wife and I decided we were going to ride a bit so  We saddled up Dash and another horse and  as I started walking Dash to the trailer I noticed he was limping.  I picked his hoof up to see if he had a rock in it or a loose shoe or something but I couldn't see anything so I took him out to the arena and walked him around a bit to see what was going on. Sure enough he was limping on his right front. Never want to take a horse out that is limping so I told my wife we wouldn't be taking him out. I took his headstall off and removed the saddle and blanket. I walked to the fence and put the rigging on the rail and turned around just as Dash was walking away. He wasn't limping anymore, hmmm. I called him over and again checked his hoof and leg still didn't see anything I took a couple laps around the arena and he looked fine. Okay whatever I called him over and saddled him back up and as we walked off he started limping. Saddle off again no limp, saddle on limp. He was playing me, he did not want to go riding and he was faking the whole limp thing.
See I told you he was smarter than your honor student, no offense

This past weekend I was saved by a firefighter and I sure am grateful.
Me and the Wife were headed into town and it was raining real heavy and the wind was gusting up to 50 miles an hour. With the weather that bad I wasn't even sure why we were going to the store. Now we live in the mountains and the road to town is a typical twisting turning narrow country road ain't a lot of extra room when two cars are side by side.
Well we been driving about 20 minutes when I see it, at first it is just a movement. Between the rain, the trees and the clouds it was pretty gray so I wasn't sure what I saw but I started slowing down and I focused on that small spot. There iin the middle of the road was one of those tiny dogs, and he was scared to death. He was just spinning around barking into the wind. I stopped the truck in the middle of the road and turned on the flashers. My Wife asked me what I was doing and as I jumped out I told her I had seen a dog.  Oh God is he okay she yelled after me. He let me get within 5 or 6 feet of him  and he just stared at me barking the whole time. Now I have done this enough in the past I know when I try to grab him it could go one of three ways, I catch him, He runs off, or he bites me, then runs off. Now I really hate the last one but it happens.
I make my move and he lets me grab his collar and scoop him up. He is soaked and shaking. As I walk to the truck I strip off my jacket and wrap the little guy up . The Wife has got her door open so I hand her the pup and head around to the drivers side. That is when I notice the cars. Must be two dozen or more stopped since I blocked the whole road with my truck.
Now just about 30 feet from where I am in the middle of the road is the driveway to the fire station and it is really the only place to pull off at this point. I pull into the dirve and for the first time notice the three firefighters standing out front. I had felt the tag on the dog's collar when I picked him up and quickly read the address stamped into it. I took the dog from my Wife and jumped out and walked over to the Firefighters. As I walked toward them I saw the car swerving into the parking lot headed straight at me. I got to the Firefighters and asked them if they knew where the street was that was on the collar. The house Captain looked at me with his mouth open. That isn't your dog? I said nope just looked like he needed a hand. He turned to one of the others and said go look on the map and see where the street is, then he turned back to me and asked if there was a phone number. I was reading it to him as he dialed it into his cell phone. That is when things started going bad. That  white truck yours came a voice, we both spun to face the stranger. I said yeah, Why?
I need to see your license and registration. The Fire Captain said excuse us but we are a little busy right now.
The Highway Patrolman ignored the Captain and said I'll need your license and registration please, You know you were obstructing traffic right?  I just looked at him and all I could think is haven't you got something better to do? I was just a little agravated so I'm afraid my response wasn't quite what it should have been. I looked at him and said Tell ya what Barney my wallet is over there in the truck you go tell my Wife to give ya my license and the registration I'm  a might busy at the moment. He didn't like that and was just about to say something when the Fire Captain stepped forward and said Hey why don't you back off, this guy just saved this little dog from getting run over. Nice but he was still blocking the road and caused a hazard and traffic to back up so I am going to have to cite him.  The Captain raised his voice just under a yell and said WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I SWEAR IF YOU WRITE THIS MAN A TICKET I WILL HAVE ONE OF MY GUYS PUMP YOUR PATROL CAR FULL OF WATER BEFORE YOU CAN FINISH WRITING IT. The Highway Patrolman just looked at the Captain. The Captain leaned forward and said I am serious. Funny I was hoping to get the ticket just to see what would happen I'm not sure he wouldn't have done it.
Well I got a warning,  made a new friend and him and I both got a great story to tell. While that was going on one of the Firefighters rounded up a leash, a dish of water and a bowl with some hamburger in it.  The Firefighters volunteered to keep the dog until they could find the owner.  I asked the Captain if he would've done it. He just shrugged his shoulders but the twinkle in his eye and the grin on his face tells me he probably would have

Gotta tell ya all about  watching where you aim and I ain't talking about shooting a gun or something. See I came into 2011 with a sense of despair. I ain't no dummy and well doing the math I figured out the way things were going I was going to have to give up the ranch. Now I ain't been in a position like that in years but between the economy and the real estate market I was in a no win situation.  Now in the beginning I was still fairly optimistic and my faith was strong. I knew there was no way God was going to let me fail after all He had sent me all these critters to care for.
As 2011 moved on and the days passed my situation just continued to get worse and well I let fear creep into my heart and head. The more fear I let in the less room I had for faith. Now with my faith waning I began to feel undeserving, unworthy and my focus shifted.


My search for a replacement for the ranch was frustrating I looked at so many places, most of them were not even worth looking at and the ones that were, well I got out bid on. Then my income stream started going down, my response to all this was to start looking at smaller and smaller properties, so to speak I just kept setting my sights lower and lower and lower.  Pretty soon I was looking at places that didn't really even make sense, small acreage, tiny house etc.,. Started making arrangements to split up the horses and board them out at other ranches. I was preparing for failure.

In the first week of December I was sure I was done and resigned myself to looking for a place to rent or lease. Then it came, a short e-mail from a broker asking me if I was still interested in a ranch I had bid on but lost to another bidder. Told him I was and well long story short I opened escrow on it a bit ago and will be moving in just a few weeks. Now I gotta tell you this place is amazing it is more than I could ever have hoped for even a year ago. The house is actually bigger and newer than the old one with a terrific floor plan, the property is perfect with nice meadows and a pond, just a tad smaller than what I got now but still plenty of room. Now it doesn't have a barn but I got is cheap enough I still got the money to have a nice barn built and the best part is it will be my design, built to avoid all the Little annoying pitfalls of every other barn I have ever had.
Now if that ain't enough we just found out that we are getting a contract for services that will put us in a better position than we were in a few years ago when things were going really well.

What is the point of me telling you all this? It is not to brag or boast it is a message about hope and faith. Now I told you my faith slipped and I ain't proud of that fact but it is what it is. Here I spent an entire year worried, scared, hurt and in a state of "LACK.  Every thought was about "LACK" every thought was about failure. I had reached a point of giving up, But God certainly hadn't while I was busy looking and hoping for less and less he was busy putting everything in place for me to end up with more than I thought possible. 

God, has no limitations no boundaries and in the blink of an eye your whole life can change.  God is a God of abundance not lack.  When facing problems remember God is without limit, trust in him, have faith, have hope. No matter what you're going through keep this in mind, you are "going through" and when you emerge at the other end you never know what will be waiting.

Yeah shoot me I said MERRY CHRISTMAS, not happy holidays. Just a bit peeved right now with the whole politically correct, don't wanna offend anyone, wishy washy bullshit surrounding the holidays.

I am so sick and tired of it all. You can't display a Christmas Tree, You can't put up a Nativity scene, can't display this, can't display that, cause it is gonna offend someone. Gotta be careful and tippy toe around so no ones feelings get hurt.

Now just so I don't get a bunch of hate mail let me make this clear I don't care what you believe or celebrate cause it really ain't none of my business and I would never, never tell you just because it differs from my beliefs not to celebrate in anyway you want.

Alright now that,  that is out of the way let me say this.  Don't tell me how to celebrate Christmas. I will outline my entire house in lights, put up a tree, display a Nativity scene and maybe even put out a cross that lights up. If you don't like that, if it offends you here is a simple solution, LOOK THE OTHER FRIGGIN' WAY. YOUR RIGHTS DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT SUPERSEDE MINE. 
Display what you like, me I enjoy diversity, display a Star of David or a menorah, I will not be insulted nor will I complain. Display Kwanzaa decorations invite me to a celebration I promise I  will attend. I will honestly enjoy learning about your culture and I will respect your beliefs and practices.

See I believe that we all worship the same God, he has just chosen to appear in different forms in different parts of the world. He appears in a form best understood by the locals. I call him God, Father, Big Guy, maybe you call him Allah, Buddha, Jehovah.

Let us celebrate spirituality together and not be divided by religions, regions or cultures. Let us pray for each other, aren't we all brothers and sisters?  Don't we all share the same energy?

Father, I pray that someday we can all set aside our differences and embrace each other as family. I pray we can work together in harmony finding answers to problems around the world. I pray someday  we will no longer remember hunger, hatred and pain anywhere in the world. Amen

I wish everyone here a Merry Christmas I don't care if you are Catholic, Methodist, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Muslim I would love it if all of ya could stop by the ranch for a cup of hot chocolate

Howdy now anyone who has honored me by reading one or more of my posts knows I have not been around lately. Things have been really a little upside down and well I have not been myself, been spending too much time being in the world I guess.
See this past year has been the worst circuit I ever been on to use a rodeo term. See I ain't been doing too good seems like everytime I turn around I'm gettin' thrown, kicked or stomped on.  Now I'm gonna tell ya something I ain't real proud of but I feel compelled to share it.
See for the last year I knew the ranch has been in jeopardy, with the economy being what it is I ain't been making enough to keep up and with the cost of feed, Vets and such I been having to dig deep into my savings. Well truth is there ain't much left and the Ranch goes on the auction block in less than two weeks.
Now I have lead a very blessed life and this is the first time in a long long time I have been faced with something like this. Got enough cash left to buy a smaller place but ain't nuthin out there right now and what I have put offers in on I just get out bid on but that's beside the point.

Now I been hanging my head pretty low, ashamed of failing the Wife and critters ain't had much pride left and well my Ego has plumb been ripped in pieces. So with things looking hopeless I have been running around trying to figure it all out, been lucky and if need be I got a few friends that will let me place my critters with them, now none of the spreads are big enough to take all the horses so I will have to spread them out over 3 different locations.
With all this going on I have had a sense of hopelessness and well lost sight of the important things, ain't been talking to him every morning like I usually do in fact sorta been mad at him.


So last night I was home by myself, the Wife is visiting the kids out of town. I did the chores and  decided to walk around the Ranch a bit since I won't be able to much longer. Looked at all the things I built, all the ground I cleared, the tall pines I love so much and I felt a mixture of despair, defeat and fear. I walked to the top of the hill and looked down over the whole place. Standing there I felt the chill of the night air as a breeze started to kick up, hmmph I thought just what I need is a storm to top things off that's when I started to vent
.
I looked up at the night sky and the stars and well I just unloaded on him, I demanded to know why this was happening. I asked him how could you send me all these critters to take care of and then pull the rug out from under me. I screamed at him How can you just stand by and watch me get thrown and kicked over and over and not do anything. I was so mad I was shaking, I can't do this by myself I yelled.

I stood there defiantly and glared at the sky. Stood there a good spell and out of the blue a sense of calmness took over. I got to thinkin' what an ass I been God ain't never left my side sure I been gettin' stomped but it has been his hands that have allowed me to get up again. He ain't gone anywhere I put up worldly walls all around me and kept him at a distance. I thought, God has promised I will never be foresaken and that he will make sure no enemy that comes before me will triumph. Trouble is I been trying to right all these things by myself and I really do know better. I can't do nothing by myself but there sure isn't any thing that God and I can't do together.

I knelt down calmer and more at peace then I have been in  months I looked back to the stars and all of a sudden I had the strangest thought. I was thinking about how Christmas is just around the corner, now an hour ago I would have said Yeah great ain't even got room for a tree cause I got moving boxes stacked up in that corner where I always put the tree up. Instead of that, I thought you know It will be the Lord Jesus's birthday in a couple weeks and I been so crazy I  ain't given that a single thought.

Father, I think I got this figured out,  I Just been runnin' amuck and ain't thinking right is all. What in the blazes do I have to be worried about when I got you in my corner, I need to just stop worrying so much. Worry never produces anything good or ever  adds a minute to your life. I stood up feeling lighter and I spread my arms out wide and said aloud God I know you will take care of me so I am just going to put it all in your hands. Just then a gust of wind kicked up and blew a bunch of oak leaves loose and the sound they made as the fluttered across the ground sounding like the clapping of an audience. I chuckled to myself thinking yeah the Angels are clapping cause I finally got it right.

Still don't know where I'm going to live yet, or what I am going to do when I get there but heck I know it will all be Ok God has my back.

You know sitting here in the pre dawn darkness and watching the stars just before they turn off for the day is one of my favorite times, love the stillness and the peace. Mostly I love chattin' with you . Course in these moments is when I think about a whole buncha stuff, bet sometimes you get tired of all my questions, heck though if a fella don't ask how's he ever gonna learn?
Now this morning, I got to wondering, Who am I? What am I? Ahh, heck I know what the world sees but is that really the truth?
It goes deeper than what others see I know it does, but does anyone really give that any thought. The bigger question is who are WE? What are we? World is in a whole buncha turmoil right now and well I can't help but believe a lot of it is because we don't stop to think about who or what we are. We don't stop to look past the roles we play. World is funny Ya look at me and well you're gonna see a worn around the edges Cowboy, you ain't gonna look much deeper. It ain't got nothing to do with me, be the same if I was a banker, teacher or celebrity, heck I'm just as guilty of doing the same thing.
See the truth is we are all wrapped up in all the wrong things, we just don't understand we are missing the whole point of being here, shame too. Whole emphasis is on competition and getting more than the next guy and well that is what got me to thinkin' about it all
Who am I,  am I here to be nothing more than a competitor and consumer of resources, when I'm dead and gone will my life be measured by what I gathered up, what I consumed ? Hope not!
So God, I gotta know, how come we are so blind, so arrogant? We think we are here to rule this world, we are the ones with the brains, we are smarter and more clever than anything else on Earth oh yeah and we have thumbs, lets not forget the thumbs.
You know I look around me and watch the critters and well the truth is, seems they might be the smarter ones. Left to do what critters do they find shelter, food and water. They might hang out in herds or flocks or coveys for protection. They don't need me or anyone else to survive, they do just fine working with what you have provided for them. Seems like they understand the connection between you and them more than we do. Never seen a critter having to go get therapy for stress or addiction issues, never seen a critter worried about where his next meal is coming from.
Now You promised us all the same things but well we decided somewhere along the way we knew better and over time we came to get farther and farther away from the true reason we are here and well that is what I am wondering about.
See I like to think I am a spiritual being here to briefly experience this human experience, don't know why but I gotta believe you got your reasons. Now I know I'm ramblin' but I just got to thinkin' how great it would be if everyone could just stop for a bit and instead of being a competitor and a consumer they could be a giver a helper. Bottom line is the world would be a whole lot better of if we all just reached a hand out to just one neighbor, one stranger. How much better would it be if we didn't hoard things but freely shared with one another. Shared resources, ideas, love.
Well I might have answered my own question here it ain't about who I am at all, ain't about who we are it is about What I am, what we are.  Me I'm gonna focus a bunch more on being a giver, reckon a life focused on that got to be a whole more satisfying.
I know I never gave ya a chance to say anything but heck I sure love when ya listen

Was talking with a couple people the other day and well one commented that I always seem to come out on top, suggested it was cause I was lucky. Took me by surprise and at first I was a bit offended. Truth is luck ain't got nothing to do with what me or any other body has. Life is choices not chances. Fella that said I was lucky, well he musta realized what he said didn't sit none to well with me and started back pedlin'

I looked him in the eye and this is what I said.
"Ya know I do seem to make it to the "short Row" a bunch and hell yeah I do wind up in the winners circle more than most but LUCK, that ain't got nothing to do with it. Now before Ya go thinkin' I'm gonna brag about myself and tell Ya how wonderful I am, you just whoa right there. I ain't all that, in fact I'm just a big old cheater is all."  Everybody just looked at me funny and the barn was silent.
Yup gotta admit once I figured it out, well I been cheatin' ever since. Ya see when I want to do something I stack the deck in my favor, I get  a ringer involved, I court the best to come  and play on my team. Ain't, never done nothing without serious back up. When Ya play that way Ya can't help but win. Funny thing is I found that no matter what I do in business, love or life in general the "Ringer" well he's the same fella everytime. Ain't nuthin' he can't do, ain't nuthin' he don't know, ain't nuthin' he don't see.

Truth is you all know him to, I call him Father or sometimes Big Guy. Some days I call him the Great Spirit you probably know him as God. Now I learned a while back that he is more than willin' to help a fella out and there just ain't nothing he ain't good at. With him on your side, well Ya just can't help but be a winner. Best part is Ya don't have to have a big old check book to get his help. In fact his help is free, well not completely free. You do have to ask for it and well Ya have to have "Faith". Like the song says "There ain't nuthin' that can't be done by me and God"

Lucky, nope. Blessed, Yup